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I love the sunrise. I love staring out into the horizon in front of me, feeling the sun's glow, and losing myself in my own world of thoughts... I love being awake when the world around me is fast asleep, and staring into the distance at the tiny glimmering ball of fire as it shyly creeps into my world… Each sunrise brings to me a new day and with it a fresh start. An opportunity to do things differently, see things from a different point of view... but best of all, an opportunity to ponder over the day ahead, giving a new chance every day to live...

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Musical Mood: Satrangi Re - Dil Se.

What defines "self"?

Hmmm.. I would say the definition of self is the person we are.. the whole thing. From things beyond our control like the genes we get from our biological parents (The genes themselves are not important, of course.. in this situation I mean.. but their expression matters. For instance, if our genes express a certain hereditary disease or condition, does not having the said disease or condition define who we are?) to things that are in our control like the choices we make (But even that is questionable - are the choices we make really coming from within 'ourselves'.. whatever ourselves may be.. or is there a genetic/environmental part to it?).. every single little bit of our existence is all put together to make 'self'. Even how it is all put together defines our self - is everything neatly arranged category by category or is it all just rolled into a big bundle or is it a 'logical mess' (Oh but wait... if something is 'logical', then is it really a 'mess'??)... every single bit of our life defines our self.

If we keep changing the person we are.. if, with the experience of life that comes with time, we find ourselves changing.. are we really whom we thought we were? If that 'me' that we once held as 'self' changes.. then.. was that really our 'self'? If the 'self' that we are keeps changing, then does that 'self' really exist? Or are we just 'carriers' of the different colours of life.. just little messengers that carry certain words of personality for a while, and then change to another freshly written note?

Of course, all this is assuming there is change in our lives and it is constant, isn't it? What's to say a little soul will not remain that little soul even on his or her deathbed? This is also assuming that every single hue of personality we have once had is not really 'genuine'.. just because it did not last until our death. How do we cross off a personality as 'not genuine'? Who are the judges? It is my belief that every single feeling, every single personality, if truly felt, is genuine.. it does not matter what happens to it afterwards. But my belief may vary with yours. My idea of 'truly felt' may vary with yours.

So where does that leave that little word - self? Is self what we are, or what we once were? Does the definition of self keep moulding into different shapes to fit the different situations that time and life leave us with? Or.. is self running in the fourth dimension, and does not fully reveal its complete meaning until the end of our lives? Can the story of 'self' have a title until it has been completely written?

This brings me to yet another point.. does our 'self' need a personal definition beyond that used for the practicalities of communication? It is but a word in the English language.. need we concern ourselves so much with the semantics of a word, when the feeling - the kind that can never be put into words - of 'it' is there?

In conclusion to this logical mess of a post - I don't know. See where your thoughts take you.. see what mood you are in.. see where you find yourself at peace with saying "enough".. and there, I guess, lies your answer. For now, anyway... until the next time you think about it.

2 comments:

phish said...

i think about it all the time.

especially on the move. taxis, buses, trains, stolen walks.

we do not change intrinsically. our personalities are moulded. the core remains the same. we just layer it. according to the situation, the environment. whether to blend in, to oppose, to dispose, or simply flow. we decide. often involuntarily. and when it's off key, we start thinking. have i changed? really?

you ask tough questions. and i don't have the answers. maybe the motive of our lives is to figure out the self. to find out the necessary codes that unlock our being.

and we dont have much time left.

dharmabum said...

vedanta says the self is beyond all. it is that which has been a witness all thru our lives, watching us grow & live.

how have u been, long time no see!