Want

Perhaps it is because I am brought up in an Indian household. Or maybe just because of the way things are. I'm not entirely sure. But it always confuses me. All I my life, I have been brought up to think that our wants are restrained first and foremost by our needs - do the things you need to do first, before exploring unknown grounds. But I have never understood this attitude. If our lives are taken over by needs, will we ever think to break free from the well-paved path and try and create our own life? At what point have we done the things we 'need' to do, and at what point can we do the things we 'want' to do?

It is such a sickenly, frustratingly blurred line. I guess you can say having enough money to live the kind of life you want to can form a basis for our 'needs', but at what point do we think to move on to other things? And what's to say another path can't lead you to a financial situation that you are also happy with - be it a richer or a poorer one from before? And is there only one way of getting there? It's just so confusing. But then again, I always think that you need to learn to be in the system to fight the system, break free from the system. Otherwise you can fuck things up (and again - why is fucking things up so bad?? I've been doing it all my life and I'm perfectly fine... haha.).

And then there's another part of me which thinks it's just about trying harder, and to always look for a clause out of a path is a bit of a wussy cop-out. It's like you're saying you are not strong enough to deal with a difficult, pain-in-the-ass path, so you give some psychological and philosophical bullshit about how life's too short, you gotta do things you way... and quit what you're doing and leave.

But then again, life is actually too short for you to not do things your way. You have to learn to cut your 'needs' losses and move on to the 'wants' at some point or the other in your life. Let go. I wish that someone would tell me to wake the hell up and let go (I am the CRAPPEST self-motivator in the world, believe you me..). Two words that are easy enough to say, but require plenty of courage to do.

It's just so confusing. And happiness is not something that is determined by which path you are on, rather how you make use of it and make it you, how you personalise it and, as Before Sunset says, "put your passions into action", in whatever way you can. Hmmmmph.